time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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