I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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