Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
