Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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