I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
