You smell like stripper and shame
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
