im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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