Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
