Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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