I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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