if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
