I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
