he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
