I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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