i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
