I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
