god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
