I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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