I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
