Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
