i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
