my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
