i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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