What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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