I am in a vortex of obligation.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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