you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
