She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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