I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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