ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
