I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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