I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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