i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
