just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do herpes really smell.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The dick lei will go down in squad history
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
