yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
