Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
