I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
how does that bad decision feel?
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