What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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