i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
