Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
