the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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