Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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