I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
