All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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