he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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