Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
