cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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