I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
