Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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