I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
