East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
