Do you still have your period?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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