I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
