dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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