been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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